


blind dates for desperate idiots

by tmrs



Series: GeneratioNext [5]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: 3+1 Things, Blind Date, Crack, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Footy fic challenge, Gen, Teenagers, nonVDay2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 03:31:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9580793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmrs/pseuds/tmrs
Summary: “Okay Lenny, don’t freak out, we still have some time. I’ll help you to find a girlfriend, deal?”Lennart doesn’t know that by then, but it would be the second time that day he would be regretting saying yes to a relative because after that, stuff went downhill for good.Or the three times Lenny go on really weird dates and that one time it was supposed to be awkward, but turns out just fine.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic mainly focus on some of the original characters created to be part of  Khalehla's  serie called  GeneratioNext which is a collection of stories about some players domestic lives after retirement and their families. You should totally check it out if you haven't yet. 
> 
> The main characters mentioned here are:  
> Lennart/Lenny, the young child of Fabian Götze.  
> Stefan, the older child of Fabian Götze.  
> Joachim/Jogi, the eldest child of Marco and Mario.  
> Julian/Jule, the middle child of Marco and Mario.  
> Astrid, the youngest child of Marco and Mario.  
> Alexei/Lex Leno ter Stegen, the younger twin of Bernd and Marc.  
> & Maj.
> 
> This might not be much of a proooper footy fic now I come to think about it, but that's not my "official" NonVday one though - I won't have time to work on that one how I want to before my big test on the12th (sighs). However, I got really excited to post something after seeing the other's amazing works being shared already so yay, here's a little something!

Lennart regrets the decision on the second the positive answer leave his lips.

 

It’s not that he doesn’t like his cousin Chiara but accepting to be the best man of Mrs Seidel-to-be, the only daughter of his mother only sister, to this side of the family would mean bringing his girlfriend along. Problem being he doesn’t have a girlfriend and aggravating several levels by the fact he doesn’t even know where to begin to find one. First because it was Lennart the person in question and then because it was hard to find a single person around Valentines Day, most of them are too annoyed by all the commotion or just plain embarrassed to admit being loner suckers during this date who’re probably going to spend the day alone with a Vermonster Ben & Jerry's buck or whatever.

 

He’s sure that his dad wouldn’t mind if he end up showing up without a girl because that’s Fabian Götze, chilled out and understandable with his children, but his mom… That’s another story. Stella takes his decisions like promises since stubble finally start growing on his chin so if Lennart compromised himself to be at the wedding accompanied of a lady then she expects nothing less of him.

 

Lennart fears of a lot of things on his life but nothing is bigger than the fear that creeps under his skin every time his mother is involved on the picture - not because she can be quite authoritarian and God, she had never ever laid a hand on her sons with other than warm motherly love - but because he can’t stand the idea of failing her. That’s why he turns to his older brother for help not even 24 hours later since Jogi is out of the country for an away match.

 

“Are you sure your girlfriend doesn’t have a sister or something?”

 

“Rosalie is an only child, you know that...” he can hear the other’s covers ruffling as he toss and turn in bed.

 

“I’m so screwed! I should have pretended to faint or something when she asked me...”

 

“Oma would have probably have Duxi sniffing you.”

 

“You’re right, bad idea, that dog is scary...” the younger one sighs helplessly, opening the internet navigator where he had typed _'blind dates for desperate idiots'_ on Google's search bar a few hours ago. “ _What am I going to do?_ ”

 

He sounds so desperate and helpless that Stefan sits on the bed looking ready to leave and ask around the neighborhood for any single girl. “Okay Lenny, don’t freak out, we still have some time. I’ll help you to find a girlfriend, deal?”

 

Lennart doesn’t know that by then, but it would be the second time that day he would be regretting saying yes to a relative because after that, stuff went downhill for good.

 

 

1.

He meets Anna-Lena at the Dortmund-Wickede station on the next Thursday afternoon, ten minutes later than he should. She doesn’t seem to mind that much or the fact Lenny doesn’t know properly how to greet her and they end up half shaking hands, half bumping the heads together and oh, apparently he just stepped on her foot too. Instead of scolding him the girl giggles, waves it off as if she was used before they start walking towards the cafe side by side in silence.

 

The place she had chosen looked something like an old warehouse but was cozy enough to get comfortable as soon you stepped inside. By the way the girl made her way to a certain table Lennart could tell she was a regular costumer.

 

“I can’t believe we’re finally here! After so many time...”

 

“I’m sorry for being late, the way to here was chaotic for some reas-”

 

Anna-Lena reaches out and grabs his hand on the top of the table making him raise the eyebrows in surprise.

 

“We’re never late or early in this life Lennart, we always are where we need to be exactly on time… I’ve learned that.”

 

The girl smiles openly and takes the hand away from his to touch the small pendant on her necklace, a symbol he had never seen before. Her eyes are so light blue it seems almost too impossible to be real, the way she tucks locks of hair behind the ears makes her look almost like a doll. Lenny have never seen a hair as black as hers so it’s kind of hypnotic to see it shining, reflecting the sunlight coming from the window like a gemstone as they wait for the order to come. He knows that he should be talking but his mind is a bit blank, all the things he had rehearsed on the way there just disappeared of his mind.

 

“It’s fine, I’m nervous too…”

 

“Yeah, uhm...”

 

“... I made sure to light all my lavender and roman chamomile candles today because you know, they are calming scents, but I was still super excited to meet you.”

 

“So do you uhm, work with plants?” Lennart tries to focus on forming sentences.

 

“Plants, flowers, herbs…”

 

“Like a flower shop?”

 

“Kind of, yeah” she giggles again.“I’m a witch.”

 

Lennart keeps staring at her for a moment waiting for a clarification that doesn’t came. Their coffee do and he decides to take a big sip of the steamy content of his cup feeling he should have asked more about that girl before leaving the safety of his house. Stefan told him he had came across his ex-girlfriend who was pretty popular and she had said that knew someone that could accept going on a blind date with him. Thinking about this now makes him realize how the thing was made to turn out bad before even start.

 

“I make potions…” she goes on.

 

“Potions like… Tea?”

 

“No silly, like real potions. Love ones are my favorite…” she bites her big sandwich and shrugs. “The demand this time of the year is just insane you know, Valentine's Day, that’s why I’m so hungry. An order here and there makes you weak sometimes but yeah, with every talent comes a sacrifice right? Mine is shedding some blood.”

 

Lennart think he’s going to die. A bit of pretzel goes to the wrong side and he feels like choking, tapping his chest a few times and coughs non-stop, eyes watering as take a big sip of his drink.

 

“Lenny, are you fine? Here, give me your hand.”

 

Anna-Lena picks his hand and finds a spot to massage on his palm for a couple of minutes while he downs the whole content of his cup until he’s sure there’s nothing stuck on his throat.

 

“See, just saved your life!” she smiles, traces one of the lines of his palm. “I’m kidding, you have a long life line here so it was just not your time. Your family chain line is also deeply marked, uhm… Tell me, you were born in July right?”

 

“H-How did you know that?”

 

“I knew your sign was Cancer! Round cheeks and nice curves, loves food, has a small group of friends and it’s really family oriented, passive-aggressive when angry, adorable puppy eyes. Cancerians are amazing cuddlers… My ex was a Cancerian.”

 

“Was? W-what happened to him?”

 

A wide creepy smile grows on her face. “You wouldn’t believe if I told you but trust me, there’s a potion to everything out there…”

 

Lenny doesn’t need to hear any other madness, his fear hits a level high enough to have him looking for some money on the wallet to drop on the table while blabbering an excuse now that his mind had finally – God help him – break off her spell. Before the door close completely behind him her voice seem to echo on the old warehouse walls.

 

“I’M SORRY I TREATED YOU SO BADLY ON OUR PAST LIVES! SEE YOU IN TWO CENTURIES! I’LL BE HERE!”

 

 _No if I can help_ , he thinks while running back to the station the fast he can.

 

 

 

2.

Stefan feels so sorry for kind of putting his little brother through such a weird situation that decides to go searching for a girl more suitable himself and that’s how he came across Verena who was the younger sister of one of his closest friend named Levi. This time Lennart was only convinced after seeing some photos of her on Levi’s social media – her accounts needed a request for further investigation so it would had to do.

 

He feels a bit more relaxed seeing there was absolutely nothing wrong with her, nor on the pictures or personally the next day. Her curly brown hair was shorter than the Christmas party images but that only framed her face better flattering her facial features even more if Lennart could find words to say it out loud.

 

“Lennart, right? I’m Verena.”

 

“Nice to meet you! Hope you don’t mind this place. I know it’s not the ideal for a date but…”

 

“Don’t worry,” she seats in front of him on the green dining seat booth and puts her big purse on her side. “I love this place, the menu is insane! I’m kind of tempted to start with the kaiserschmarrn...”

 

“No way…”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“I think I’m in love with you already.”

 

The fact she laughs is what tells him he had said those words out loud, his ears feel instantly hot and the hands sweaty.

 

“Let’s see if you’ll say that after I steal all your fries for main dish and have the garlic chicken for dessert, if you don’t end up dead by my breath then I might be falling in love too.”

 

For _once_ in his life things seem to be working out alright. She can talk about a large different range of subjects and the chat flows, which is a surprise even to Lennart. The fact she’s clumsy enough to drop several french fries on her lap during the night gives him even more hope. By halfway of the date while they’re talking about movies the girl even moves closer to seat next to him, ending the distance between their sides so they can see the trailer of an upcoming release, laughing at the funny scenes and bumping their shoulders when it’s over.

 

Verena round, rich brown eyes look straight into his and he smiles because he can’t even feel the smell of garlic. She smiles too and it’s kind of magical. _That’s it_ , he thinks, _it’s happening_. Except it’s not. She must have felt too self-conscious and backed off saying something about going to the bathroom and soon return making Lenny want to scream for her to come back.

 

He’s pulling the hairs on the top of his head with the elbows on the table when he hears it. It’s a small sound, something scratching and pushing things around. He doesn’t see nothing weird while looking to the other tables, then Lenny looks to the space near his seat but it’s just when he looks under the table he catches a glimpse of something odd - Verena’s purse is moving. It’s enough to break him in cold sweat because since she had took her phone with her on the pocket of her jacket, none of the reasons for that thing to be moving could be good.

 

The purse jumps again and then, it _whimpers_.

 

Lennart wouldn’t be able to say why but he reach out for it, picks the zipper with all the care in the world and push it open slowly just enough to see his worst fear – a pair of big mouse ears. He’s so taken by the panic he doesn’t see Verena passing to come back to the table so the thing he feels hitting against his elbow when he jumps out of the seat end up being nothing else than her nose.

 

“OH MY GOD, YOU’RE BLEEDING!”

 

“I CAN SEE THAT DICKHEAD!” her blouse is painted in red but she gives up trying to clean and uses all the napkins to cover the nose. Her eyes widen when she sees the open purse. “Oh my God! Where is she?”

 

“ _SHE?_ YOU KNEW THERE WAS A MOUSE ON YOUR PURSE?”

 

“It’s not a mouse, it’s a Peruvian guinea pig! Now stop making a scene before people...”

 

Lennart stops listening when he can have a good look of it as the rodent puts half of the body outside, the little nose moving around and – does it has a bow on the top of the head? Verena hurries to close the purse after dropping a bunch of fries inside. Lenny watches in shock.

 

“THERE IS A FUCKING HUGE MOUSE-”

 

“GUINEA PIG YOU ANIMAL!”

 

“ _HAVE YOU BEEN FEEDING IT?_ ”

 

“THE WHOLE NIGHT YOU IDIOT! THE WHOLE NIGHT! AND YOU JUST NOTICED BECAUSE I NEEDED TO PEE. MISS DAISY IS SMARTER THAN YOU!”

 

The girl puts the purse under her arm and throws the bloody napkins on him, shoves all the remaining french fries on the mouth and leaves before the manager comes to kick him out for the disturbance.

 

That night Lennart dreams with that moment where he almost kissed Verena but instead of her face it’s Miss Daisy’s face and instead of being kissed by her he’s chewed piece by piece covering her fur with his blood.

 

 

 

3.

He doesn’t have time to refuse the third one although his first instinct is to get up and leave as soon the word “date” is mentioned. Rosalie insisted he should join her and Stefan on their night out to relax a bit, have some fun after all those crazy failed attempts so even if third wheeling not being his ideal idea of fun, the chances of something bad happening drop to minimum when you’re accompanied with family right? After all, his parents were also spending the night out many miles from there in Düsseldorf and would come back only tomorrow so no point staying at home by himself.  

 

So there they were: he, Stefan and his girlfriend who looked extra cute on high heels and red dress. After arriving at the coffee bar Lennart needs a moment looking at all those couples to remember it’s actually February 14. It makes him want to hide in the bathroom. Rosalie does what she can to keep the conversation on common topics despite the three years gap between their ages, keep the mood light despite the undeniable fact it would be too weird act all lovey-dove with Stefan with his younger brother poking the pasta on his plate so grumpily. It’s just after the last meat-ball goes inside his mouth that she squeals making him jump on the seat.

 

“Em?” a girl a few meters away turns around looking a bit scared and then relieved to see Rosalie. “I can’t believe it’s you!”

 

They hug each other once she is near enough, Rosalie is still holding her hand between hers when she brings her closer to their table.

 

“Guys, this is Emma, the queen of scientific names of all different species of fish…” she laughs while the girl shakes hand with the boys with a nice smile. “She was such a nerd back then, oh my God… I don’t see you... Since what? Grundschule?”

 

“It’s probably around that time, I think so at least…”

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“Working. Well, my shift ended a couple of hours ago but anyway, I need some extra money so pushed myself to stay overtime until now. I’m finally over for the day.”

 

“Great! You can join us for a drink then.... Let’s chat for a bit.”

 

The two girls do the most talking while the boys get on the conversation a couple of times between sips of their beer but it’s nice, the ambient is good with a bit of music on the background and Emma is a quiet person. When Stefan can see the bottom of his cup he starts growing impatient, obviously too tired of formalities and anxious to have some proper alone time with his girlfriend and damn, Lennart can’t even blame him because he kept himself together for a long time indeed. However, Lennart can only feel forsaken when his older brother tells him to talk about that one time he was bitten by a fish in Greece and takes advantage of the fact Em’s attention it’s only on him to get up holding Rosalie hand saying they’re going.

 

“I sort things out with dad,” he puts money enough to pay for everything all of them had on the table and pats his back. “Just stay here and finish your drink with Em, ok?”

 

Stefan raised eyebrows reminds Lennart of their mom, that was a reminder he needed to take this chance to find a girl to take to the wedding because the date was ridiculously near. It also meant I’ll Go Home To Fuck My Girlfriend Loud And Clear Taking Full Advantage Of The Fact Our Parents Are Away, but well... Lenny nods and when Stefan smiles at him half proud and half thankful, it’s enough to give him a bit of confidence so he doesn’t feel like running after both when they leave the coffee bar with a hurry only horny lovers have.

 

“I guess he left enough for another one, what do you say?”

 

Emma raises the cup and Lenny does the same clicking the glasses softly before both downed the remaining content of it in one go. Some of the beer end up running down her chin but she laughs so lighthearted that the boy joins her until the waiter arrives.

 

Turns out Stefan left him money enough to more than just one new round so when they’re finally over and the bill payed most of the people already left. They leave the place with a smile still on the lips as he offers to walk her home. It’s really late, he can’t remember the last time he was awake at that hour of the night but he’s feeling good and her company is nice.

Emma rests the back against the wall of a random store across the street of where she said was her place and brings the hands to the hair.

 

“Alright, wait a second.” Lenny can hear some clipping sounds and then the girl pulls the long blond hair off revealing short cropped ginger locks that get messier and messier as she run the fingers through it. “This shit is so itchy!”

 

“Uhm, that’s…”

 

“Sorry, did I scared you with that? Really wanted to rock some blond hair today.” Em giggles and shrugs, puts the wig inside her backpack. “These things are your best friends when you regret doing crazy shit and cutting all the hair off.”

 

“Why did you cut it?”

 

“I wanted to be somebody else.”

 

Lennart doesn’t know what to say because she looks kind of sad so he nods trying to be comprehensive even if didn’t looked like she was up to share much more. She crooks the head while staring at him, puts the foot up against the wall behind her too.     

 

“Did I downgraded a lot?”

 

“Not at all like... Really.”

 

“You’re cute Lenny,” Em smiles from ear to ear, puts the hand inside the backpack looking for something. “But if ‘uptight’ could jump out of the dictionary and walk around with two legs that would be you. I know because it used to be me. Rosalie was right when she said I used to be a nerd, always so damn worried about being perfect and pleasing people… It would make me insane sometimes.”

 

She sighs, frowning to some point at the sky and sounding totally serious about it so Lennart believes her. Her words hits home deep down and makes him scratch the face, massage the back of the neck.

 

“How did you stopped?” her eyes goes back at him. “You said it used to be you, did you found a way of letting go?”

 

Em takes the hand out of the backpack and holds up something in front of his face. It’s a cigarette, a long and handmade cigarette. She puts it on the lips and lights it up the opposite end taking a few soft puff before inhaling deeply, cheeks going hallow for a moment and then the smoke leave her lips to dissipate on the air. Lennart watches in silence for another couple of times until she holds the cigarette out for him to take.

 

He’s not an idiot. He knows that’s weed and that it’s one of the things that can make you addicted, he knows that accepting that would mean break rules and doing something his family wouldn’t appreciate but honestly… When was the last time any of them really showed appreciation for all his effort of being good or doing the right thing? In that moment, all Lennart remember receiving is mistrust looks or being called weird for all his quirks and fears. He wanted to feel free of all those obligations he always felt on his shoulders. He wanted to relax, to let go of the worries - especially after that crazy week. _You know what? To the hell with that_ , he thinks before taking the joint of her hand and bringing to his lips. Then he stops halfway and frowns.

 

“How do I…”

 

Em chuckles, pulls him closer by the hem of his t-shirt and brings the cigarette to his lips.

 

“Start with small puffs, now inhale… Good boy,” Lenny turns the face to the side to cough as she runs the hand up and down his back on a shooting way. “That’s alright, try again. This time try to inhale until you can’t hold anymore on the lungs, doesn’t need to be fast of hard! Doing it slowly and steady is just as good. Gosh, that sounded kind of dirty…”

 

Lenny realizes she is now hugging him and he has to admit that blowing out smoke like that makes him feel pretty cool. Emma picks the cigarette to have some more but when her eyes end up on something at the end of the street they go wide, her arms push Lennart away.

 

“RUN, RUN, RUN!”

 

He doesn’t know what or how or why but he does what she’s saying, running after her on the opposite direction of whatever she had seen on the street. She’s a good runner so it’s hard to keep up but then Em stops behind a tree giving time for Lenny to arrive, gasping for air.

 

“What’s happening?! What did you saw back there?”

 

“The police! They’re coming, fuck fuck fuck-” she puts the wig back and shoves the backpack on his chest. “Hold this!”

 

“WHAT?”

 

“Don’t you dare fucking following me!”

 

She starts running again and this time Lennart panics because he can hear footsteps getting closer and angry voices, the inside of the near establishment is being painted by red and blue flashing lights and his knees are going weak so running isn’t even an option. Throwing the backpack over the gates of the nearest house would be useless at this point.

 _That’s it –_ he’s immensely fucked.

 

 

One hour later he’s on a familiar car with a sheep plush toy at hands, the big black eyes judging him. Or maybe trying to tell him something.

Leaning in for a better inspection as they stop, Lenny is pretty sure those street lights aren’t real street lights but in fact mechanic spiders whose eye’s are deadly lasers ready to cut the buildings in half and create a huge fend in the middle of the street that would pull them down to the center of the Earth. It makes him feel excruciatingly anxious out of sudden, grip tightening around the sheep. He pulls the interior door handle and feels the wind when it opens.

 

“LENNART!” someone reaches out to close the door again. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

 

“THE SHEEP SENSED THE SPIDERS! THE EARTH WILL CRACK LIKE AN EGG AND I-I DON’T WANT TO DIE AT NIGHT!”

 

“Lenny, look at me…” the boy obeys and looks at his uncle Mario. “You’re not going to die, do you hear me? Besides, it's morning already!”

 

“Oh…” he frowns and look outside to the sky beginning to light up. “You’re right... Okay, things are fine then.”

 

Thankfully they arrive home before the spider can follow their car – he keeps hugging the sheep with an eye in the mirror until the "street lights" disappears, just in case.

 

Lennart couldn’t ever be able to describe how he’s taken by a breathtaking happiness when uncle Mario takes him inside and he see who’s waiting for them at the kitchen.

 

“JOGI, YOU’RE BACK!”

 

The boy don’t mean to fall on the other’s lap, it’s just that his feet fails him and that’s what happens but it's fine, he doesn’t mind the unconfortable position that much, just continue to hug him tight while feeling soft pats on the back.

 

“Are you sure it was just weed?” he asks.

 

“I’m not sure of anything anymore…” Mario answers, scratches the head and helps Lenny to stand up.

 

The boy frowns, scratches the eyes, frowns even more.

 

“Uncle Marco... Where did Jogi went and how did he went so quickly?”

 

“Jogi will be back in two days, it was actually me all the time.”

 

“No…”

 

“Yes…”

 

“I don’t think so…”

 

“I can guarantee that it was…”

 

“Can you two just stop? It’s early in the morning and you need to sober up before Astrid wakes up young man.”

 

He pushes the boy’s shoulder down for him to take a seat by the table and Marco puts a plate of scrambled eggs in front of him. “Here, have this kid.”

 

Those eggs was the best thing Lennart ever had on his entire life, all the eighteen years. He can even picture the chicken who birthed them, pure white feathers and shiny halo on top of the head, floating on the fluffiest cloud there’s out there…

 

 

Mario shakes his head from the other side of the kitchen.

“From all of them… I never thought it would be bailing Lenny out for drugs possession.”

“You said the girl that was with him had a warrant against her?”

“She has,” he run the hand through the hair. “The officer said he claimed not knowing that when he met her on a bar, but he was holding a backpack with not just weed and he's clearly not on his normal state of mind so it me-”

"Lennart gets tipsy with glühwein." Marco points it out. "He would definetly pass out trying something crazy."

"I guess you're right. He'll have to go back there to say if he remembers anything useful when he's better."

"Look, I’m pretty sure if he was addicted we would know by now, the boy is just... Unlucky. Wait until he’s back to normal and talk to him nicely ok?” Marco kisses Mario’s head, pulls him for a hug. “I can take Astrid to Yvo’s place for breakfast and pick Jule at Marc and Bernd house, give you two privacy to talk.”

“Alright, he looks kind of better already...”   

“Hey uncle Mario!” the adult turn the attention to him with raised eyebrows. “Did Adam and Eve had belly buttons?”

“Alright, maybe not yet...”

Marco leans down to nuzzles his husband hair trying not to laugh.

 

-

 

“Can’t you really go slower?” Lennart’s fingers knots are turning white from holding onto the seat of Jogi’s brand new ridiculously awesome car while they drive to pick up Maj at the airport.

 

“In Autobahn? No. Stop being so scared of stuff Lenny. Don’t you trust me?”

 

“What I don’t trust is your dad’s mental conditions when he bought this to you… Can’t believe uncle Mario let you keep this car.”

 

“The deal is that I’ll have his Audi for everyday things the whole year but I’m allowed choose two weekends every month to drive this beauty here.”

 

“So you basically got two cars, you’re no good are you?”

 

“Hey, it’s not my fault! Besides, you can’t deny this car is something else…”

 

“I don’t like speed.”

 

“You don’t like having fun in general.” Jogi resumes, thumbs drumming the wheel. “Or any other thing that can be remotely exciting to any normal person. You don’t like diving or sailing, you don’t like cars or horse riding, you don’t even like camping or abseiling or anything…”

 

“I like food…”

 

“... If wasn’t for me and Maj you would be miserable. And fat. You know what you need?”

 

“A safety hat and mouth-guards to walk with you on this car?”

 

“Sex.” Jogi means that so seriously he dares to take a quick look at him by his side. “You need a someone to suck you dry and ride you like a fucking pro and maybe let yo-”

 

“That’s... Don’t say that again. And keep your eyes on the road! Also, before you go there, don’t even think about sending me porn site links again. I’ve never been so emba-”

 

“Oh my God, you embarrassed yourself that time, it wasn’t my fault you decided to check that on the bus! I did add on the message you weren’t supposed to open it unless you were alone.”

 

“At the end of the message! How would I know that if there was at least ten links on top of it?”

 

“I didn’t knew what you liked to see, had to send a diversified range of types...”

 

“Whorey Potter and the Sorcerer's Balls, really? In 3D?? What about Jurassic Pork??? Goddammit Joachim, who do you think I’m?”

 

Jogi is laughing so hard Lenny can see some tears going down his cheek, it’s one of those hysterical fits that you can’t help but laugh along despite not wanting to give in.   

 

“I don’t know man but you did clicked on those, I see…” the boy takes one hand off the wheel to dry the tears.

 

“And I’ve been traumatized for life, thanks.” Lenny holds his wrist and guides his hand back to the wheel. “Seriously though, I had enough of dating after last week…”

 

“Oh yeah! I totally forgot! Papa said he bailed you out of jail for weed possession?? Like, _what?_ He also said that you were all over dad thinking he was me, you’re so cute man...”

 

“Uncle Mario owns my ass after that night, I’m not even kidding.”

 

“That’s weird to hear but go on, tell me everything...”

 

“Let’s get Maj first.” he crunches the shoulders as Jogi change lanes. “Holy Frittatas… I’m never ever sitting in front again.”

 

Maj jumps in the car with her bags and fills the interior with talks about her days and photo-shoots in Berlin for the first minutes and then says she’s super hungry so they stop at some near place for lunch. After a quick resume about the last matches while waiting for their orders to arrive, Jogi elbows his cousin suggesting is his time to talk about what happened while they’ve been apart. Lenny sighs before starting, being interrupted just by the end since his best friends were laughing so much during his sad story that they didn’t had time to do it sooner.

 

“Wait, who’s Miss Daisy again?”

 

“Verona’s rat…”

 

“Guinea pig.” Maj takes a sip of her apple juice and shrugs at Lenny unimpressed face. “It’s different! They’re related to the capybaras and not to rats or pigs if you ever wondered... Still can’t believe you tried weed without me to be honest, it’s the kind of stupid thing you do with best friends so they can have your back if something shit happens and not with a random girl on a alley… Even more if she’s a drug dealer wanted by the police.”

 

“Dad said you were hilarious… Papa made me sit with him for half hour to make sure I didn’t knew about anything.” Jogi chews a piece of lasagna. “But Maj’s right, that could have ended much, much worse.”

 

“I didn’t knew ok?! I had no idea! That whole night was an accident! Still can’t believe uncle Mario saved my life keeping it a secret, even Stefan and Verona still think I've spent the night with her… You know what?” Lenny bites his schnitzel. “I think Anna-Lena cursed me.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous! She just know the basics of reflexology and things she reads at the horoscope part of teens magazines, she’s not a witch...” he’s not looking convinced so she drops the silvery and cross the fingers together, hands under the chin. “Fine, so because you’re a Cancer, I’m Aquarius and Jogi’s Libra it means you’re needy and possessive, I’m tactless and unyielding and Jogi’s manipulative and narcissistic?”

 

There’s a moment of silence at the table while they look at each other before she click her tongue, goes back to eat her pasta. “Maybe she’s a witch…”

 

When the laughs die down for all the three of them Lenny sighs, cleans the mouth on the napkin and pushes the plate away just enough to rest the elbows on the table, the face inside the hands.

 

“I still haven’t found someone to the wedding and that’s a day after tomorrow.”

 

“Hey man,” Jogi ruffles his hair. “I totally would go with you if I could.”

 

“You have training, plus my mom’s family knows you’re my favorite cousin so they wouldn’t buy we’re dating.”

“I’m so going to end up kissing you one day for being this cute, I swear...” Lenny tries to escape Jogi’s grabby hands that are currently pulling him close. The chair it’s almost tipping and making him fall when he manages to set himself free. “You need someone that’s close enough to not scare you but is not part of the family.”

 

Jogi winks towards Maj that’s currently distracted trying to pull a champignon from inside one of her rigatoni.

 

Lenny is the one pulling him for a kiss on the cheek this time.

 

“Hey lovebirds, are you going to eat that?” Maj points at something on Jogi’s plate before realize both of their eyes are on her. “What? I don’t like the way you two are looking right now.”

 

“Maj, can you pretend to be my girlfriend at the wedding?”

 

“Hell no!”

 

“Why not?”

 

“That’s… Weird. I don’t even know that part of your family!”

 

“That’s why it’s perfect! You know mom and dad and Stefan and Rosalie, that alone means you won’t have to share the table with my weird relatives! It’s just for one night! Please?” she’s still growing so Lenny reaches out to hold her hand. “I remember hearing you say some stupid things are meant to be done with friends because if some shit happens they will have your back, well, I think this is one of those things.”

 

Jogi puts his cup down with a smile feeling proud of his cousin speech.

 

“Check-fucking-mate.”

 

 

 

+1

Saltzburg is beautiful despite being cold enough that if you pay attention you’ll be able to hear everybody's teeth starting to chatter on the line to take photos at the entrance of the nice hotel/party place before making their way inside, the sun doing a poor job on keeping people warm that day.

 

The photographer waves for them to take Stefan and Rosalie’s place on the staircase for the picture. Lennart really wants to flick his aunt Lora off for trying to direct them but it’s probably too early to family arguments yet so he breaths in and out, passing the arms around Maj’s waist and stepping closer until their bodies are together when she wraps her arms around him too.

 

“What’s this face?”

 

“I’m pretending to be madly in love with you.”

 

“You’re failing.” Lenny thinks it’s important to points out because the photographer says he’s ready to click.

 

“Shut the fuck up or I’ll break up with you in a second,” she speaks between her teeth and crooks the neck. “Pookie Bear.”

 

“Now that's weird.”

 

Maj is glad the inside of the hotel is so cozy and warm because being nested under Lennart’s arm while waiting for his parents to take the photo wasn’t much helpful when the boy is cold-natured too. The family sits on the designated table with a beautiful arrange of flowers and candles at the center talking about the wedding, Fabian handles the hundredth tissue to Stella while Rosalie and Stefan seem to be on their own little world. Lennart puts in place the locks of Maj’s hair the wind had messed up, tucking some behind her ear like he remember it was supposed to be. She sighs and looks at him, patting his knee in recognition.

 

“Is it wrong that I was totally crushing on the bride during the ceremony?”

 

“She really looked stunning on that… Cape thing.” he nods and hits her ribs with the elbow after a moment. “You don’t look bad yourself.”

 

“You’re now part of the restrict number of Guys Who I’ve Shaved My Legs For my friend, that’s big, you better appreciate.”

 

Lennart chuckles and pulls her closer to lay the head on the crook of her neck. “I do Maj, I do.”

 

It’s easy than any of them expect to be honest. When a random someone asks how they met, what they do for fun, what’s the other favorite dessert the answers come naturally and end up being 100% true. When this guy that was acquaintances with Stella comes to chat asking what she does for a living, Maj watches with a pleasuring surprise while Lenny goes on and on about her modeling thing with proud in his voice instead of grumpiness on his face - he even recomends Lex's website so the man could check more of his cool work. When they’re left alone again he frowns in a silent question as the girl runs the fingers through his hair gently but she just smiles.

 

The hardest part of the night end up being when she uses all her weapons to convince him to dance - which his grandma finds adorable and really entertaining. _Look at the lovebirds discussing their relationship_ , aunty Lora says after overhearing and both want to grimace at the nickname. That turns out to be a big enough incentive for him to pull Maj’s to the dance floor by the hand.

 

It’s funny because Lenny tries hard but can’t remember feeling so relaxed or having so much fun on a social event with less than two glasses of alcohol on his system since he was allowed to drink, which is crazy. Two days ago he thought this wedding would be a disaster but now he’s spinning his best friend around and hearing her laugh over the song playing, his parents are feeding each other with cake, his brother is probably making out with Rosalie on a bathroom – life is good.

 

Many hours later pretty much everybody's gone but the two stayed to sneak the fondue up to their room and didn’t regret the decision because it was simply divine. Lennart brings the big tray with all the different things could be remotely good with chocolate and Maj holds the thick blanket up for him, adjusting it as she can around his body without moving much from their seat in front of the fireplace. He passes her a stick holding the tray so she could choose and then serving himself too.

 

She burps and he pats her back. “Bless you.”

 

“Thanks. Your turn.”

 

The boy roll his eyes but manages to burp too.

 

“Fine! You won, but you still not the one that can fart the national anthem.”

 

“That’s because I, different of you and Joachim, still have some decency.”

 

“At least I’ve never been into jail.”

 

Lenny widens the eyes at her making her giggle and wave him off, going back to playing a puzzle arcade game on her mobile with the flexed legs falling over his lap. He holds them in place by the knees while watching the fire burning for a moment, biting a piece of the strawberry on the stick.

 

“It’s official: this is the best date I’ve ever had.”

 

Maj still have the eyes closed while chewing something she just ate but nods in agreement. “Same.”

 

“Thanks,” Lenny says dipping a cookie into the chocolate this time. “Today would be shitty if wasn’t for you, by now they would be all talking about how much of a weird and loser I’m as if I was not listening.”

 

“You’re not weird or a loser Lenny...”

 

He shrugs, bites the cookie not really convinced.

 

“Lennart Götze.” she raises the eyebrows and press the lips together until he looks at her again. “Those people see you once in a year! They don’t know you at all! We’ve been on each others lives pretty much everyday for five years so hear me out here: you’re the most attentive, careful and responsible person I’ve met in my life. I know I’m not always in touch with my affectionate side but I do admire you for that.”

 

“Really? Because most of the time it just feels like… I should be better. If I was normal then-”

 

“Not me or Jogi, or your brother and dad or even your mom would change a thing about you doesn’t matter how quirky it is because that’s what makes you so special. Please, don’t you ever feel like you need to change to fit something and find a place because you’ve always had one and will always have, with us.” the girl smiles with confidence. “And I’ll scoop someone’s eyes with a spoon and use as earrings if I find out they said shit about you today because nobody treats my Honey Buns like that.”

 

He laughs at the nickname while Maj pass the arms around his neck for a tight hug.

 

“Uhm, is this the part where we make out?”

 

“Get out!”

 

Maj elbows him and they laugh some more. Lenny’s thankful she goes back to eating because that gives him time to try swallowing the lump on his throat and don’t start crying, that would be ridiculous. He feels he’s failing because her words are still fresh on his mind, the certainty on her face and the fact she wouldn’t lie only makes his chest fuller with thankfulness and love. The mobile chiming by his side is a perfect distraction and he smiles seeing who’s ringing for a video call.

 

“Wow, I’m feeling under-dressed now...”

 

“Well, you’re shirtless so I guess it makes sense.”

 

Jogi’s laugh fills the room and Maj brings her face close to Lenny to fit on the screen. “Why are you naked?”

 

“Hi bae!” she flips him off while chewing and he laughs again. “Why you guys are not?”

 

“Are you crazy? It’s freezing here. Also you know what happens when teens have sex on a lodge in the woods… Lenny?”

 

“They die.” the boy has the mouthful but manages to say.

 

“That’s right and we wouldn’t do that without you, obviously.”

 

“Dying or having sex?”

 

“Both.”

 

“Alright, can you guys stop? That’s weird enough, aunty Lora room is right next this one so she could hear...”

 

“Worse than that,” Maj finishes the last cookie before continuing. “She could come here and direct how we should do it.”

 

The trio chuckle for a good while before seriously start talking about how the day went, the family gossip and remembering embarrassing moments every wedding has. Maj gets up to give Jogi a tour of the room and their view of the outside area that was now mostly covered in fluffy white snow and Lennart takes the moment reflect that maybe, just maybe he isn’t that bad and must have done something right along all these years to keep those two around. He was fearful, socially awkward and probably had to learn how to relax but that’s alright isn’t? Everybody has to learn something, that’s what living is about after all. "The journey" as people say. He got time and goddammit, he got the best company he could ask for. What else did he needed? Lennart realizes he wouldn't want to be nobody else but himself and that feels frittata-ing awesome.

 

Maj sits next to him again but doesn’t question when he lays the head on her shoulder. Jogi’s face is squished against his pillow and Lenny is pretty sure he’s not totally conscious anymore despite his best efforts trying to win an argument with her that he is.

 

“Missed you annoying selves today.” he mumbles and literally snores.

 

“Next time we’ll bring you along, now go to sleep ok? See you tomorrow.”

 

“‘kay, love you guys”

 

“Jogi, can I have your car for the week?” Maj tests just for fun.

 

He cracks one eye open and laughs, flicks her off before ending the call.

 

“Rude.” Maj giggles and goes back to nestling herself against Lenny, clicking to open the game on her phone again.

 

“He won’t remember anything tomorrow, will he?”

 

“Nope… Hey, do you want to play this betting the rest of chocolate on the bowl?” he’s about to pick the mobile from her hands she pulls it back. “But I swear that if you put your cold feet on me to take off my attention from the game I’ll cut your balls and eat on that fondue.”

 

“I would never do that!”

 

“Right…” she let him get the mobile this time seeing him move the feet away from hers.

 

“Alright then!"  the boy crosses the ankles with a sigh. "Bring it on, Baby Cakes, just bring it on.”

**Author's Note:**

> Because love is not always romantic and because learning to love yourself a bit more is importante too :)
> 
> Also if I'm not mistaken the dates ideas here come from inspiration I got of some "real life bad dates" article I've read on the internet a few months ago but I can't remember where so yeah, all the props (and my sympathy) to the people that went through crazy things like this.


End file.
